Pixton DuQuesne Jr.
Mad River Union
ARCATALANDIA, APRIL 1 – Comedienne and radio personality Sherae O’Shaughnessy has a new passion, and Arcata is reaping the relief.
The Humboldt-famous star of stage and radio has also become a celebrity in the blue-tinged shadows of Eighth and F streets, where Arcata’s new Portland Loo casts its comforting glow.
O’Shaughnessy has apparently been volunteering as a sort of potty docent, explaining the loo’s functions while dispensing both usage advisories and toilet paper.
She even appears to have cobbled together a sort of uniform, complete with a logo bearing her image that reads “Lady Loo.”
The comely comedienne has been spotted in the area at all hours, and admits that she basically spends all her free time hanging out around the rotund obelisk, helping users whether they like it or not.
City officials were initially unsure whether to cite O’Shaughnessy for meritorious service or pursue a restraining order.
“Public service takes many forms,” she explained. “I feel it’s my calling. Literally, that impact-resitant fixture gurgles out to me like a cry in the night.”
APD first became aware of O’Shaughnessy’s magnificent metallic obsession when they noticed her training her “troops” – a small squad of volunteer hobo-hangabouts from nearby Veterans Memorial Park.
“She had them lined up with their scrub brushes and was reviewing them like a drill sergeant,” said Officer Luke Scown. “It was un-can-ny,” he added. “Ha ha ha.”
The self-appointed toilet docent/laugh-lady offers a range of assistive services for loo users, including hygeine education, pro-tips, assistive listening devices, tissue – even candies for that post-go reward.