• Thursday, April 25 2 a.m. “Stop smacking me,” said one of two yellingtons on Union Street who, despite the passions of the moment, cared enough to use a slightly evocative verb. 7:16 p.m. The ridonkulous “who’d fall for that?” Social Security phone scam netted another victim, ensuring its continuation. The scammer reaped some $2,900…
Arcata Police Log: Shirtless men with nothing better to do – as seen on TV!
• Monday, August 7 2:39 a.m. After being chased by some total stranger through the streets of Arcata, a man took refuge inside a downtown donut shop. 9:30 a.m. Unknown dumpers made a massive furniture delivery to L Street. Not any particular address, but the actual street. Dumpage included a trailer, mattress and furniture. 4:39…
Arcata Police Log: A shimmering pageant of ‘from hell’ situations, plus yaks
• Monday, May 1 10:43 a.m. Three non-gentlemen harassing customers behind a Valley West store were all clad in a utilitarian garment – a cotton sweatshirt of sorts, with an open pocket at the front and a built-in hood. The latter feature is useful both for retaining warmth and somewhat obscuring one’s identity while going…
Arcata Police Log: Burgeoning yelling-nonsensically movement finds fresh adherents
• Tuesday, April 11 12:50 a.m. For the man wailing outside a family tavern on H Street, there was something about Mary. What, we may never know, since that name was one of the few intelligible words in a top-volume diatribe described as “nonsensical.” • Wednesday, April 12 4:14 a.m. It took a day for…
Arcata Police Log: Frequently fortissimo fusspots foment feckless fulminations
• Thursday, February 16 10:25 p.m. Once the person arrested lying on the floor of downtown donut shop no longer has the spins, there may be some reflective self-appraisal to work through. • Friday, February 17 7:47 a.m. This car with tinted windows drives slowly through an Alliance Road neighborhood from time to time, sometimes…
Arcata Police Log: Probability cloud surrounding Schrödinger’s cash collapses
• Thanksgiving 8:42 a.m. The day’s passerby revilement got underway in Valley West, courtesy of a black-clad blurter by a gas station. 11:43 a.m. After the registered guests checked out of their Valley West motel room, two women remained in the nonsmoking room, smoking things and refusing to leave. • Friday, November 25 2:19 p.m.…
Arcata Police Log: Mini-unicorns frightened by fracas
• Wednesday, October 5 12:04 a.m. F Streeters awoke to the sonorous strains of a woman screaming profanities and beating up on trash cans in the street. She was arrested on a drunkenness charge. 1:18 a.m. A woman bellowed obscenities at F Street store employees. 7:01 – 7:50 a.m. Campers, campers everywhere – M Street,…
Arcata Police Log: Doubling down snittily, lingering surlily
• Thursday, August 25 11:47 p.m. At Carls, Jr., you’ve got friends, went the slogan. But it apparently didn’t apply to the friendless fusspot who locked himself in the bathroom. Unless he and the porcelain fixtures have something special going on. • Saturday, August 27 1:49 a.m. A black Jaguar drove recklessly in the Sunset…
Arcata Police Log: Because life is full of choices, we’re focusing on the Pygmy Pony of Mystery rather than them yammering yakholes
• Tuesday, August 16 4:26 a.m. Armed with a flashlight, a backwards baseball cap and a crazy dream, a man grubbed through the recycling at a Courtyard Circle apartment complex. 3:54 p.m. Surly sidewalk slumpers again heaped up in front of a vacant storefront on H Street, which is why it’s vacant. • Wednesday, August…
Slithy Toves Gyre, Gimbol, Ransack, Rummage, Galumph – February 10, 2010
• Tuesday, January 5 7:37 a.m. An emotional man wept in the City Hall parking lot, complaining that he couldn’t remember the last time he slept. It seems that his girlfriend “did something” to him while he was sleeping in Crescent City, and he hasn’t been able to sleep normally or pee painlessly ever since.