• Monday, December 15, 1:24 a.m. Russell Albers was enjoying himself at a Trinidad casino when he noticed that another man appeared to be talking to his girlfriend. This was unacceptable, so Albers confronted the man and got into a physical altercation. Casino security asked both men to leave the premises, so they did. However,…
5:51 p.m. An officer was hailed at the Community Center by a woman who had been approached by a man who said he needed help with a “groin injury.” But before the officer could address the crotch crisis, the woman left, as did the groin whisperer.
11:40 a.m. The problem wasn’t with the yaks, but with their grouchy tenders, who form a kind of yak-centered mobile argument service. Cordial greetings and friendly remarks about their exotic animals are met with blistering ripostes, and heaven help anyone who asks anything of the two irascible yaksmen, like to move out of the roadway at 14th and M streets. An officer attempted to detain the two for investigation, which triggered the usual verbal abuse and even brief physical resistance by one. They were made to sit on the ground while the officer determined the situation. They denied any altercation, and were released with a warning.
• Thursday, March 28 10:42 a.m. Yak Man and his diminutive companion argued at a passing jogger before being admonished. One must greet the yakherders with extreme courtesy and caution as they go about purifying Arcata.
9:19 p.m. A man stood outisde a Samoa Boulevard business with his pants down, opening and closing his car door. He told police he was waiting for a ride.
3:57 p.m. A man out back of a Valley West shopping center may have been drunk and aggressive toward customers, but at least he peed on the dumpster.
11:45 p.m. A bearded ’n’ beanied man fled a Uniontown variety store with the succulent innards of a wine box – the plastic bladder of vino. Caught, arrested, banished and jailed.
• Thursday, January 23 11:17 a.m. A Chihuahua skittered about 11th and M streets, and that lady couldn’t catch it.
9:10 a.m. A long-haired man in a jean jacket and rubber boots was seen releasing domestic ducks into Klopp Lake, a violation. Another citizen on scene said the man had let the ducks out to get water – apparently some sort of necessity for ducks – then “boxed them up” and left.
11:45 a.m. Every day, a man shows up to “guard the front door” of a suspected Ariel Way grow house.