Tag Archives: Maskholes

Arcata Police Log: Varying grades of chicanery to suit any malefactor’s ambition and budget

2:26 p.m. Science tells us that the only known faster-than-light phenomena in the universe are hypothetical tachyons and the speed at which a slithy tove removes purses, wallets and debit/credit cards from an unlocked vehicle. The latest victim, on 24th Street, discovered and immediately reported the theft, but the tachyon-tove had already squandered her funds on toys and candy.