• Wednesday, April 21 9:32 a.m. A 5150 patient’s hospital escape path took him past the Birth Center and out into the parking lot as fast as brown socks could carry him. Flimsy hospital gown flapping, he was last seen wending his way past the helipad en route to points south. 1:16 p.m. A shopping…
Arcata Police Log: Peaceable laundry-doers plagued by meddlesome maskholes
• Tuesday, April 13 3:39 p.m. A band of streetcorner musicians At Eighth and I offered renditions Of flute-friendly jamming But critiques were damning And troubadours failed the audition 10:17 p.m. A woman at a Plaza hotel reported that when she looked in the mirror, she didn’t look like herself. Oh, also, she thought there…
Arcata Police Log: Drunk’s reign of error topples trash can, engulfs mailbox in booze
1:12 p.m. A man in a blue sweater, suffused with life’s exuberance or something, danced in traffic at Seventh and G streets until his happy feet and the rest of the misguided terpsichorean musculoskeletal contraption were moved along.
Arcata Police Log: When foley artists feud
• Saturday, March 27 1:58 a.m. Mysterious emanations from a Janes Road motel room sounded like feuding foley artists, with all the rustling and banging and throwing of things. One tantalizing clue to the nature of the proceedings was a man’s voice asking, “Who’s the boy?”
Arcata Police Log: Must camo constantly correlate with cuckoo?
• Monday, March 8 4:49 p.m. For whatever reason, a Valley West business didn’t especially want aggressive panhandlers burning cardboard out front.
Arcata Police Log: Welcome to my anger mismanagement
• Wednesday, February 10 3:58 p.m. Social distancing? Smocial smistancing, said the crowded crowd of 25 to 30 common sense-disregarders mingling at optimal disease-transmission range of each other in Stewart Park, ignoring the sign to the contrary. 9:16–11:04 p.m. On H Street and at a Valley West motel, people behind on their car payments went…
Arcata Police Log: If you’re wearing blue pants, you might be part of the problem
• Tuesday, February 3 9 a.m. A Percheron Lane houseguest went nutso, screaming and throwing things about. Police were summoned to extract her. 9:17 a.m. A quartet of sitabouts in a Valley West shopping center sat amid a swirling vortex of personal possessions, throwing things at each other and screaming. 10:16 a.m. Yelling and aggression…
Arcata Police Log: Bloody-batted rockballer hones truck-stoning prowess
8:08 p.m. A classic YouTube-grade jerkwad situation played out at a 13th Street supermarket, where a man refused to wear a facial covering when asked, then whipped out the ol’ phone to dickishly shoot video of the frontline employees who really don’t need this shit.
Arcata Police Log: Bearded zounderkite hellifies variety store, sunders liberal media
• Friday, January 22 1:58 p.m. A fustilarian fusspot with issues on the Plaza. Well that’s new. 4:14 p.m. An older gent in a hoodie brought Plaza-grade delirium to Sunny Brae Center, disturbing peaceable shoppers in the sleepy shire with his big-city bleatings. 5:10 p.m. A drunken disturbo threw things around at a Sunny Brae…
Arcata Police Log: Emissary from Summer of Love brings aural torment to mini-martyrs
• Saturday, January 16 7:19 a.m. A guest at a Valley West motel suspected a housekeeper of refilling an insulin bottle that should have been empty. The insulin is for his diabetic support cat.