• Monday, February 24 4:34 p.m. The sitabout set swelled to spectacularly smoky proportions on the Community Center’s sunny west side. 7:22 p.m. And you screech, and you blurt, and you flame all the bouncers in your green shirt. • Tuesday, February 25 7:33 a.m. A breakfast mixer in a Valley West ditch swelled beyond…

• Monday, February 3 3:56 a.m. It’s definitely a new trend – showing up at businesses and claiming to be a patron/client/guest, then demanding services in huffy-hortatory harangues and probably getting them from time to time. A man whose superpowers were aptly symbolized by the damp lightning bolt on his red hat claimed to have a room, didn’t, and when confronted by staff stalked off with his bags toward the rooms and into thin air.

• Sunday, January 19 6:56 p.m. A man in tan jacket and pants shoelessly padded about an I Street parking lot snarling at customers and disrupting commerce. Police encouraged him to begone, and blurt his beige braggaduncio elsewhere. 11:32 a.m. A man festooned with hoodie, backpack and foam pad used the corner of 11th and…

Whether to prove a point, honor a lost bet, subdue fleas, keep warm, press his clothes or simply feel something in our numbingly dystopian era, a man body slammed his very own body into cars at various Valley West burgerterias.

• Friday, November 1 8:55 a.m. A generator rustler made off with a juice unit from a formerly empowered Cedar Drive location. 10:40 a.m. A wanted person was extradited on a warrant out of a Northtown motel which, not being any sort of embassy, afforded him no protective diplomatic sovereignty. 10:51 a.m. A man throwing…

• Thursday, October 17 9:47 a.m. A two-vehicle encampment in the elite upper parking lot at the Arcata Community Park was unoccupied, but well-adorned with strewn garbage.  9:57 p.m. A man with a flashlight, gray beard and beanie hailed a passing motorist at Alliance Road and 17th Street and asked for a jumpstart. But there…