1:47 p.m. Further demonstrating the chronic reverse-wisdom of orange-hued individuals, the pumpkinesque SUV driver entered the drive-thru lane and attempted to place an order. Refused burgery goodness on grounds of prior shitheadery, he threatened an employee’s life. And away he drove.
Arcata Police Log: Unhappy diners resort to fussing, flinging food and further failing
5:59 p.m. If, after being disallowed from chowing down inside a Valley West restaurant, the denied diner’s tactic for restoring entry privileges was to fuss and fight with the staff, well, it failed. He was last seen – somehow, despite his camouflage pants – propelling a shopping cart down the street.
Arcata Police Log: The fine art of not leaving when asked
• Tuesday, August 18 3:39 p.m. An unemployee had a friend help him set up his online EDD account, but she changed the passwords, and had the card sent to someone else’s post office box. He called EDD and learned that the card had been used multiple times, just not by him. 4:48 p.m. After…
Arcata Police Log: Nonsensical non sequiturs, wacky maledictions and other oddball utterances
• Tuesday, August 18 3:26 a.m. A Bayside Road resident’s unlocked door allowed a woman to walk right in and get naked in the bathroom, as one does. She was arrested on a burglary charge.
Arcata Police Log: #occupytoilet slacktivist dethroned
• Monday, February 24 4:34 p.m. The sitabout set swelled to spectacularly smoky proportions on the Community Center’s sunny west side. 7:22 p.m. And you screech, and you blurt, and you flame all the bouncers in your green shirt. • Tuesday, February 25 7:33 a.m. A breakfast mixer in a Valley West ditch swelled beyond…
Arcata Police Log: Dropped-off boxed cock busts out for slough doodle-doings
• Monday, February 3 3:56 a.m. It’s definitely a new trend – showing up at businesses and claiming to be a patron/client/guest, then demanding services in huffy-hortatory harangues and probably getting them from time to time. A man whose superpowers were aptly symbolized by the damp lightning bolt on his red hat claimed to have a room, didn’t, and when confronted by staff stalked off with his bags toward the rooms and into thin air.
Arcata Police Log: Shimmering demi-deity bedazzles donuteers as humdrum abuse drizzles down
2:42 a.m. Meanwhile back at the donut shop…
Arcata Police Log: Something in the way it moves, appalls me like no other burglar
• Sunday, January 19 6:56 p.m. A man in tan jacket and pants shoelessly padded about an I Street parking lot snarling at customers and disrupting commerce. Police encouraged him to begone, and blurt his beige braggaduncio elsewhere. 11:32 a.m. A man festooned with hoodie, backpack and foam pad used the corner of 11th and…
Arcata Police Log: Trashy hookup with Gaia leaves Mom Earth in need of serious spa session
• Thursday, January 9 7:53 a.m. After peeing on a plant on 10th Street, a man roved down to Eighth and G streets to throw objects into the roadway, and that accomplished, headed northbound for more wacky misadventures. • Friday, January 10 8 a.m. A woman’s son was followed all over Arcata by a man…
Arcata Police Log: Laundry quandary triggers underfluffed he-Karen
• Tuesday, December 24 2:14 a.m. An interspecies choral group composed of a woman and dogs howling up the night in a G Street bank’s parking lot were moved along. 8:17 a.m. When you’re a McKinleyville resident who’s been ripped off by an Oklahoma company, who ya gonna call? APD! 10:37 a.m. Someone on Spruce…