Tag Archives: April Fool 2014/2044

Trinidad Transformation Now Complete

Trinidad Transformation Now Complete

APRIL 1, 2044, TRINIDAD – Every single dwelling in the seaside village is now a vacation rental after the city’s last permanent resident moved to McKinleyville last week. Mrs. Mary Bodega packed up her Trinity Street home last week, turned the keys over to a vacation rental agency, and moved into one of McKinleyville’s new,

Pampered Plovers Pumped Up On Pudding, Go All Raptor

APRIL 1, 2044, CLAM BEACH – In an effort to protect the area’s dwindling population of crows, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service plans to target the birds’ primary predator – the Western Snowy Plover. The last Christmas/Festivus Audubon Bird Count revealed that there are fewer than a dozen crows residing in the Clam Beach

Insensitive Humboldt County Ignores Needs Of Wealthy

Mad River Union APRIL 1, 2044, HUMBOLDT – The Board of Supervisors is wrestling with a difficult issue that has no easy answers – how to make sure there’s enough lavish housing in the county for the mega-rich. The board is also looking at ways to help the rich obtain the services they require. While

It’s 2044 And General Plan Is Finally Nearing Completion

Pixton DuQuesne, Jr. Mad River Union APRIL 1, 2044 –HUMBOLDT – Humboldt County’s General Plan Update is finally nearing completion, according to sources. Speaking to the Board of Supervisors on Tuesday, Director of Development Accommodation and Environmental Capitulation Kurt Gronlon presented a proposed schedule which would see the plan coming to the Board for a

Sewage Teletransport Goes Horribly Wrong In McKinleyville

April 1, 2044 McKINLEYVILLE – The ladies of the Moonstone Quilting Guild were in for a rude awakening last Sunday when raw sewage rained down on them during their annual quilting convention at Azalea Hall. The septuagenarian quilters were watching a demonstration of fusible appliques when the light in the room suddenly dimmed, turned almost

Arcata Main Street Finally Just Gives Up And Crawls Away To Die Quietly In The Corner

Mad River Union ARCATA, APRIL 1 – Shattered by opposition to its controversial plan to install a Plaza-enclosing dome during the recent Arcata Bay Pudding Festival, Arcata Main Street has dissolved. Its final accomplishment was creation of updated signs describing the most recent activities prohibited on the Plaza. The perenially troubled business group accepted an

We Want Your Funnies For The 2044 Mad River Union, Coming Out April Fools’ Day

Mad River Union Staff Report NOHUM – The Mad River Union’s April Fool edition is taking shape, and it’s sure to make you laugh, cry, blurt, bleat, grump, sweat, read things aloud to your SO and possibly itch as well. Why? Because it reports the news of the day in the greater Arcata-McKinleyville bioregion 30 years