Superfans Valerie and Tamara crowned ‘Crab Queens’

CRAB QUEENS Valerie Simons and Tamara Clohessy. Janine Volkmar | Union

Cowboy night is Saturday, June 30 and all those fans wearing cowboy attire who want to win prizes will be judged by the newly crowned Crab Queens Val and Tam. The Crabs organization has decided to have these two superfans be the official judges for all the costume contests this season.

Tamara Clohessy has been attending games since the 1970s. “My dad used to be the manager of the Penney’s store and the store was a sponsor. My kids were batboys and my ex-husband was an umpire,” she said. “My kids did Crabs Camp too.”

Valerie Simons has her beat by a year or two. “My very first game was in 1969,” she said. “I came out to see Dane Iorg play. I started by watching Dane play back when the field was a marsh.”

There are more family connections. “My cousin Brian Baretto played for the Crabs,” Simons added.

The two women have season passes and rarely miss a game. They sit right behind home plate in the first row of the bleachers, right where the umps can hear them.

“When we don’t yell, the umpires ask what was wrong,” Simons said. “They’ll say ‘we didn’t hear you’.”

“We’re hecklers,” Clohessy added,”but we’re not mean.”

The two women are such superfans that their favorite bleacher seats have been officially painted as “Reserved seating for Crabs superfans and pageantry judges Tamara & Val.”  Woe betide anyone who is bold enough to try to steal those seats!

They love costume nights and have requested that the 1950s night be brought back. Pirate night is a special favorite as well. They will now be judges and they want to let it be known that they are amenable to bribes, particularly food and drink bribes.

Clohessy and Simons wait for certain songs to be played by the Crab Grass Band. Clohessy said, “We wait for “Elvira’.”

“We get up and do the Chicken Dance,” Simons said.

“Sweet Caroline” is also a favorite.

The two even wrote an article in this year’s program. It’s titled “Crabs Baseball is Our Summer Vacation.” In it, they ask everyone to stop and say hello.

So if you are in costume, be sure to parade in front of the judges. And don’t forget the bribes.


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