• Thursday, April 21 11:44 a.m. A couple of sketchy-looking would-be carpet cleaners came to a Lewis Avenue house offering to do the aservice for free if they were allowed in. The resident refused the offer, and soon two more residents in the area reported the same guys bothering them.
2:36 p.m. A man wearing a guitar on his back raised his voice in a cannabis center, then strode eastbound on Sixth Street.
8:41 a.m. After “harmful things” were texted to a friend, the friend shot back with counterarguments of a similar nature, and the war was on. One reported the other as being “off his meds,” literally.
8:20 p.m. A woman may have thought her bike would be safe left unlocked outside her third floor apartment door. Welcome to Arcata, where unlocked bikes are as ephemeral as they are fungible.
• Friday, April 22 10:25 a.m. A young woman’s dose of Ecstasy didn’t live up to its billing, unless the cosmic euphoria inherent in vomiting on the lawn at the Community Center counts.
• Saturday, April 23 4:05 a.m. Loud belligerators trying to have a party at a Valley West hotel may have thought they were at one of the less-dignified joints across the street, and had to leave.
8:03 a.m. A woman having an anxiety attack checked out of a Plaza hotel in a big hurry, leaving the room key and her possessions in the room. She later called from her parents’ house in Chicago, and her stuff was to be shipped back.
9:36 a.m. A raccoon experiencing an altered state wobbled down Larry Street.
12:38 p.m. A tot was left asleep and unattended in a car at a Sunny Brae store.
1:14 p.m. Two children were left asleep and unattended in a car at a Valley West store.
• Sunday, April 24 12:32 a.m. An elderly gentleman experienced cardiac arrest and died on M Street.
12:34 a.m. A man’s attempt to make a midnight sandwich went horribly and bloodily awry at Haeger Avenue and Janes Road. Somehow he fumbled the knife and cut himself to the extent that arriving personnel found him in the intersection “covered in blood.”
3:28 p.m. Someone broke into the water heater room at a 12th Street apartment building and didn’t steal or damage anything, but did leave a bike there.
4:08 p.m. A dreadlocked man in a trench coat seen screaming and hitting himself in an I Street parking lot was taken to a mental health facility.
11:26 p.m. After a newspaper kiosk was set on fire in Westwood Center, police escorted one young subject to Juvenile Hall.
• Monday, April 25 6:45 p.m. Several months ago, an HSU student lost her purse at a bar, and now her dad reported receiving a traffic ticket in the mail bearing some guy’s name and her San Pedro address.
9:21 p.m. A man reported being identity-thieved, with someone using his accounts to buy a plane ticket and make a motel reservation.
• Tuesday, April 26 5:43 a.m. Of all the gratification-promising commodities at a Uniontown variety store, one man’s desire was keenly focused on the red-and-white packs of cigarettes and their siren song of nicotinal satisfaction. After store personnel repelled one attempt at securing the cherished stink sticks, the man returned with redoubled determination and allegedly scored his prized quarry: five packs of Marlboros. But he never got to ignite ’n’ inhale any of them, as police quickly caught up with the fleeing fellow just down the block, and the swiped smokes were recovered nearby.
1:10 p.m. A spikey-haired man threatened to kill a dog at a Northtown sandwich shop, but didn’t.
2:13 p.m. An afternoon shoplifting festival kicked off at a 13 Street marketplace. Subject cited.
4:17 p.m. Three galoots toting two bottles of JD at a Valley West food place had the booze taken away from them and were told to leave, since it looked to the employee like they didn’t really plan to pay for it.
5:53 p.m. A bald guy in a plaid shirt was asked to leave a Northtown market. But he later returned and took either a Starbucks coffee drink or a bottle of Pepsi, for those who think young and larcenously.
7:01 p.m. Something about the windshield-cleaning style of a woman in a pink dress at a Valley West gas station made a witness think she was “strung out” on drugs and unfit to drive. But drive she did.
7:58 p.m. A husband reported that while he and his wife were shopping at a Valley West store, they walked past a man who said he was doing a survey for Humboldt State. When the woman declined an interview, the man abandoned the survey ruse and started grabbing at her feet. The podia-twisto made good his escape.
The donut shop’s alley was maxed
With musos, one there playing sax
Then joined by guitar
Which took it too far
A cop visit lessened impacts
• Wednesday, April 27 12:22 p.m. It all started when a woman e-mailed someone advice about trimming horse hooves. This set off a series of e-mail rejoinders from the man, followed by unsettling visits to her workplace. Police offered restraining order advice.
• Thursday, April 28 9:21 a.m. iPods left in unlocked vehicles on Ross Street are no different from succulent, shiny gizmos in any unsecured car anywhere – they yearn to roam free, and just can’t be contained.
In the donut shop alley at breakfast
Banged bongos, both rockin’ and reckless
An officer landed
Caught the pilot red-handed
And ended his session so feckless
10:45 a.m. A man said that as he walked past a 10th Street thrift shop the previous night, someone bopped him on the head and he awoke to a bad person rifling through his pockets. Taken were his cell phone and wallet containing $500.
5:56 p.m. The foot freak was back in action at a Valley West shopping center. The “HSU survey” ruse having failed, he now claimed to be part of a massage therapy class. A woman refused his footful entreaties and strode off on the coveted extremities untouched.