To my tire slasher
An open letter to the person(s) who slashed a tire on my truck recently while it was parked on Western Avenue in Arcata:
Yes, it’s true. My truck has bumper stickers on it. I can see how you might have been driven to a violent rage by the one that says: “Loving Kindness is my religion.”
Perhaps you were personally offended by the one that says: “Make Someone Happy.” Maybe you don’t see color and only see white. Maybe the “Say NO to Racism” sticker drove you to break the law.
Maybe we don’t see eye-to-eye philosophically. Maybe you are diametrically opposed to the sticker that says: “I Wonder.” Maybe you are anti-American, anti-Constitution and anti-Democratic.
If so, I can understand that the sticker that says “Thank You for Protesting” or the one suggesting that people vote could drive you over the edge. (If you don’t like protests now, you would have hated the Boston Tea Party!)
Or maybe it was the sticker with no words at all, just the shape of California with a heart over Humboldt, Trinity and Mendocino Counties?
Maybe you hate living here so much that you chose to vandalize a stranger’s truck rather than move out of the area?
At any rate, slashing my tire was crude, rude and illegal. If we disagree on something, I’ll buy you a coffee and we can sit and talk about it.
In the meantime, if you see my truck again, put a hundred-dollar bill in an envelope and slip it under the windshield wiper. You owe me that, at least.
Ocean Bluffs (formerly McKinleyville)
There are naked ladies all over town
Their long bodies bare
They raise their gaudy pink heads to the sky
To me they are the pink flamingos of flowers
Performing a pink parade
In the fervid final days of Summer
Before the Fall