2:02 p.m. A trusting soul, one of the remaining few not yet predated by ever-swarming opportunivores, parked in a designated handicapped spot outside the store where everything’s worth a dollar, without posting armed guards around the car. On returning, he found that his handicapped placard had been stolen.
JOIN THE AEF The Arcata Educational Farm on Old Arcata Road is accepting shareholders for its Community Supported Agriculture program. The fee for a weekly share of organic vegetables is $400 to $500, sliding scale for a 20-week season. For more information, call (707) 822-0284.
4:12 p.m. A man was reported kneeling in the roadway on the Plaza, then wandering in McKinley’s direction as all wiggo wingnuts are wont to do at one time or another. As an officer drove him to the hospital, he forewarned the ER that the guy might be “on LSD” and to have restraints ready. There, he was deemed drunk and so obstreperous that he had to be ferried to the bin and its berserker-friendly rubber rooms.
11:57 a.m. The world’s most unsympathizable beggar entreated a woman for money at 13th and G streets, his coin-cadging compromised by unzipped pants which allowed a panoramic view of that which no mortal never would have wished to observe. The dangly wrangler ambled away, penniless but well-ventilated.
• Tuesday, June 14 2:21 a.m. The alley behind a downtown hardware store serves the spillover crowd from the Carport of Mystery, Adventure and Romance, a popular venue for any manner of after-hours recreational activities, just a stumble away from the donut shop. These pastimes range from fragrant joint operations to freestyle saxophone serenades, unique innovations in animal husbandry and downtown’s usual unceasing drunkard overture. This night, the spittle-splattered asphalt glimmered and twinkled amid shadows cast by clenched fists listlessly swung more or less in the direction of similarly cocktail-addled targets of convenience. The grungy gladiators’ fighting spirit summarily shriveled with the arrival of buzzkill-blue uniforms.
The Ink People, an arts and culture incubator in our community since 1979, has put out a call for volunteers, vendors and sponsors for The Golden Road Art & Music Fair Sunday, Aug. 1 at the Old Creamery at Ninth and L streets.
1:45 p.m. One man in a long trench coat and another in a camouflage jacket overcame their differences in terms of outerwear preference and shared marijuana in front of a Plaza tavern. On seeing a bar employee calling police, the two activated a unified emergency response plan, the primary component of which was skedaddling westward.
Blue Lake: The Opera could be – no, it is – the funniest and most musically gratifying work Dell’Arte has ever pulled off. This radically revised, eccentrically amplified history of Blue Lake really is an opera, with purty singin’ and everything, plus tragedy, redemption and an array of colorful and often adorable characters. Written by Lauren…
A car parked ’twixt striping of blue
Had nothing whatever to do
With handicapped access
Cops thought what it lacks is
A ticket, and also a clue
4:40 p.m. A male and female engaged in some sort of tawdry rendezvous by the romantic drainage pipe culvert between the plumbing shop and burger bar were joined by a man not noticeably clothed. The trio apparently concluded their business and scattered before police arrived, sparing anyone else the mind-scarring imagery.