The Ink People, an arts and culture incubator in our community since 1979, has put out a call for volunteers, vendors and sponsors for The Golden Road Art & Music Fair Sunday, Aug. 1 at the Old Creamery at Ninth and L streets.
Donut Shop Is Best Supporting Pastry Outlet In Various Dingbat Dramas – June 29, 2010
1:45 p.m. One man in a long trench coat and another in a camouflage jacket overcame their differences in terms of outerwear preference and shared marijuana in front of a Plaza tavern. On seeing a bar employee calling police, the two activated a unified emergency response plan, the primary component of which was skedaddling westward.
Insta/Mini-Review: Blue Lake: The Opera – June 25, 2010
Blue Lake: The Opera could be – no, it is – the funniest and most musically gratifying work Dell’Arte has ever pulled off. This radically revised, eccentrically amplified history of Blue Lake really is an opera, with purty singin’ and everything, plus tragedy, redemption and an array of colorful and often adorable characters. Written by Lauren…
Customer Care Plan Features Less-Than-Fullhearted Swing-And-A-Miss – June 23, 2010
11:52 a.m.
A car parked ’twixt striping of blue
Had nothing whatever to do
With handicapped access
Cops thought what it lacks is
A ticket, and also a clue
Muttonchop Cultivation De-Prioritized For Duration Of Futile Two-Block Flee – June 16, 2010
4:40 p.m. A male and female engaged in some sort of tawdry rendezvous by the romantic drainage pipe culvert between the plumbing shop and burger bar were joined by a man not noticeably clothed. The trio apparently concluded their business and scattered before police arrived, sparing anyone else the mind-scarring imagery.
Humphrey, The Hippie And Hordes Of Hortatory Half-Wits – June 1, 2010
1:40 p.m. A pit bull at 13th and Q streets didn’t appear to be vicious, but growled when people approached, probably out of fear and confusion. Lacking further direction and, of course, any ability to explain its origins, the orphaned animal wandered over to some mailboxes and awaited destiny’s next affront, which didn’t take long to arrive. Completing what was probably its worst day ever, not to mention one of its last, the dog was captured with a catchpole and taken to the county animal shelter.
Hitcher's Nethers Evacuate Onramp – May 26, 2010
6:27 p.m. Three young teenage hitchhikers at L.K. Wood Boulevard and 14th Street may or may not have enhanced their chances at getting a ride when one lifted his shirt and licked his nipple, then unveiled his nether nozzle. These acts apparently scattered the populace, as no one was there when police arrived.
When Hobbits Go Wrong, Only A Buzzkill From The Skies Can Slow ’Em Down – May 13, 2010
3:22 p.m. It was kind of hard to miss the not-exactly-camouflaged man in a red jersey with a big “34” on the back, running drunkenly away from the freshly poured concrete he’d just vandalized on Samoa Boulevard near the train tracks. He was found and arrested for being composed of too many parts alcohol.
Because Calling Over And Over And Getting Hung Up On Will Really Make Them Love You – April 28, 2010
2:07 p.m. In a variation on the usual slithy tove ritual of iPod and ashtray change heists, a Samoa Boulevard business suffered gasoline theft from its vehicles, so locking gas caps were installed. So next the indefatigable tove petrol thieve-toves drilled a hole in the gas tank to drain away their precious fossilicious nectar.
Someday, technology will allow us to conveniently text message those rocks, bottles, pants, eggs and carrots into each other’s faces – April 14, 2010
• Saturday, March 13 3:24 p.m. What was reported as a “large sheet of metal” in the roadway at 18th and H streets wasn’t found. 3:29 p.m. An officer was hailed by a cab driver, who said the metal object was still in the roadway. An officer found a pipe, and removed it. 11:45 p.m.…