• Thursday, January 9 7:53 a.m. After peeing on a plant on 10th Street, a man roved down to Eighth and G streets to throw objects into the roadway, and that accomplished, headed northbound for more wacky misadventures.
• Friday, January 10 8 a.m. A woman’s son was followed all over Arcata by a man driving a white sedan. The frightened lad wisely didn’t lead the motorist-stalker back to his home, and somehow lost him near the Indianola Cutoff.
11:52 a.m. An emaciated male spray painted some ugliness upon a postal box on lower G street, with a witness then tailing the landscape-blotching skate-punkster up toward Sunset Avenue.
11:58 a.m. Multicolored hearts were spray painted on Plaza benches and sidewalks.
Noon A blue heart was sprayed onto the ass-end of a Plaza shop.
12:09 p.m. Campers merged with Gaia at their Arcata Marsh and Wildlife Sanctuary campsite, slathered her with garbage and feces and took their leave.
5 p.m. An H Street business recorded video of someone cutting a bike lock on Nov. 3, though the victim may have since moved away.
7:54 p.m. A once-dignified 11th Street building was peed upon, and, compounding the insult, by a man in an orange hoodie, all to the reverse-amusement of restaurantgoers across the street. He was arrested.
• Saturday, January 11 11:43 a.m. A woman at an Alliance Road and Spear Avenue gas station filled up her tank with dino-juice, then locked her keys inside the car. She ran home, leaving her dog in the car as she literally ran home to get an extra key. That was 20 minutes ago, and now concern grew for the car-confined dog’s well being.
12:19 p.m. A man was observable on supermarket video rifling a woman’s shopping basket and purse, net loss $200.
• Sunday, January 12 2:36 a.m. A man reportedly received a single stab to the abdomen at a Plaza bar.
2:42 a.m. A sketchy weirdo in the bathroom of a Janes Road RV Park wasn’t supposed to be lurking there in the wee-wee hours, but at least he was babbling nonsensically.
9:36 a.m. At some point, a Hallen Drive houseguest became a housepest who refused to leave.
4:29 p.m. A hardscrabble grutman on F Street had cobbled various objects together by way out scraping out a living from resources available about the landscape. These included one of the bikeshare bikes with a barbecue grill tied to the back, pulling another bicycle loaded with a weedeater and other miscellaneous grunge-infused equipment.
7:16 p.m. A drunken doorhandle tryer worked a Uniontown shopping center’s parking lot, tugging on car doors in hopes of accessing statistically likely unguarded treasure.
• Monday, January 13 9:50 a.m. A Bayside Road houseguest had become increasingly agitated over the past several days and eventually reached the throwing-food-and-forcing-the-roommate-to-hide-in-the-bathroom stage.
11:35 a.m. A shoplifter in a backwards red baseball cap and matching sleeping bag made off with two carrot cakes from a 13th Street store, but was swiftly captured and arrested.
3:06 p.m. A Valley West gas station jewelry salesman’s blatantly bogus baubles and bangles held no appeal to one discerning patron.
• Tuesday, January 14 9:11 a.m. A young person’s barber equipment valued at $1,700 was stolen from the trunk of a Haeger Avenue car.
8:51 p.m. An urban traveler set up his night’s warming fire by the propane tanks at a Valley West shopping center. He was moved along, averting any potential kablooey activity.
• Wednesday, January 15 1:35 a.m. A gas siphoner driving a white sedan was caught and briefly chased on West End Road.
3:12 a.m. A screaming Valley West drunk was arrested.
9:58 a.m. A man locked himself in a Northtown business’s bathroom and commenced screaming, again. Thence, he wandered.
• Thursday, January 16 7:30 a.m. When someone on Baldwin Street saw a guy trying to get into a car with a crowbar, he then noticed the witness and got all huffy, as though her observing his crowbartistry was the true injustice.
7:50 a.m. An Alliance Road resident whose backyard borders Janes Creek reported her back fence cut again, the gap large enough for a bag-toting man to ride a bicycle into and through her yard.
10:28 a.m. Puppies were reported left in a backyard cage around the clock and in all weather on Crescent Way.
12:56 p.m. A man with black tape all over his face reportedly threatened to kill someone on 13th Street.
2:45 p.m. A woman blacked out at a Plaza bar the previous night, then woke up at her home with a new bruise.
8:01 p.m. A mountain lion was spotted on Grotzman Road, a couple of times.
• Friday, January 17 3:24 p.m. A Union Street apartment manager hadn’t seen a tenant in quite some time and was concerned, especially with no answer at the door. Police were called, and then the coroner.
4:45 p.m. An employee who had 86’d a patron from a 10th Street business was walking to work when the ejectee ran up on him and threatened to “take him out,” in the non-dating sense. The employee then ran to work, and his gnarly nemesis didn’t give chase.
• Saturday, January 18 1:47 a.m. A fighty, fussy day got off to a combative start when drunken brutes battled as best they could at Ninth and H streets.
5:50 a.m. A woman in a puffy jacket and leggings threw a rock at a Janes Road hospital employee.
9:26 a.m. Someone pushed a woman up against a wall on Greenbriar Lane, then followed her to work and even to APD.
10 a.m. Occupants of a black VW Jetta were reported shooting at other motorists on Samoa Boulevard.
10:21 a.m. A postal carrier got into an argument with a patron on H Street.
2:58 p.m. Asked to leave a low-budget Valley West motel, a man said no, then threw a lit cigarette at him and hit him. The surly cig-flinger was arrested.
3:17 p.m. A car at an H Street rental property had been left running since 7 a.m. with its front door and trunk open and no one around.
4:26 p.m. Two front tires were slashed on a car parked in a lot behind an historic Plaza storehouse.
7:59 p.m. A man keeps going into a Sixth Street business to ask for a phone to call God.
9:36 p.m. A youth struck his mom on F Street.
• Sunday, January 19 2:44 a.m. This is the hour a resident of a camper van parked on Frederick Avenue considers prime dog-walking, yard-entering, obscenity-spouting time, even though the lighting is less than optimal for beholding his splendid dreadlocks and tie-dye ensemble.
11:12 a.m. A woman panhandling with a baby at the entrance to a Uniontown shopping center was heard talking to a black-hatted man in a green Honda four-door. He told her she couldn’t get back in the car until she had collected more money.
4:45 p.m. A man at Lippizan Way and Palomino Lane cleaned a motorcycle, the noxious solvent or fuel running down the storm drain and into Humboldt Bay.