• Sunday, August 12 4:51 a.m. Wee-hour thieves didn’t bother breaking into the cartop carrier on the van in a Valley West hotel’s parking lot – they just made off with the whole thing.
11:01 a.m. A woman trying room doors at a Valley West motel was expelled from the premises, whereupon she took to hurling rocks at passing vehicles.
• Sunday, August 12 5:25 p.m. A Beverly Driver came home to find that someone had turned on a gas stove sometime during the day, filling his home with the fumes. He aired the place out without incident.
7:56 p.m. Dude, it is so over between you. That being the case, why are you stressing out someone you supposedly care about by following her around? It sounds like a power thing, and that you have some real questions to address with yourself. If you think about it, doing that is the only way to bring a good outcome.
• Monday, August 13 3:03 a.m. After ejecting two travelers from a Janes Road RV park, another group was found enjoying the swimming pool, if not deepening its turbidity. They claimed to be guests, but skedaddled on a police summoning.
3:51 p.m. Someone reported enduring harassment in the forest by someone with a yak and three goats.
5:06 p.m. After staring at children in a playground in Frank Martin Court, a man emerged from the bushes. The children were taken inside, the doors locked and police called. The shrubbery starer was gone when police arrived.
• Tuesday, August 14 6:22 a.m. The sweet succulence of summer watermelons piled outside a Valley West supermarket will never be enjoyed, except as missiles someone decided to throw around.
11:28 a.m. A drone buzzed traffic on Fickle Hill Road, compounding the hazard posed by the vehicles rocketing down the hill at near-lightspeed.
Noon Had she known that the new roommate was going to unravel into a muttering, stick-wielding menace who climbs out the window of the house and may be either unwell or on something, well, it’s unlikely she’d have sublet the room to her.
12:55 p.m. A man dumped a truckload of carpet remnants near the No Trespassing sign at the city lot of Aldergrove Road, then started carrying them one by one into the wooded greenbelt area. His camouflage shirt’s powers of obfuscation deeply compromised by a beacon-like red visor, police had little difficulty tracking down and arresting the forest upholsterer.
12:56 p.m. Everything else in sight having been tagged, penned, sprayed, etched, burned and peed on, the forces of destruction have unleashed hell on the Plaza’s lawn. Two patches of turf – one two by four feet in size – were reported ravaged.
2:21 p.m. A driver saw a man on a bike smash the window of a white car on G Street, snatch a backpack and then head southbound against traffic.
2:28 p.m. A broken window at a home on Old Arcata Road gave way at the slimy hands of a burglar, who stole a TV, checkbook and other stuff. This happened sometime over the summer, date unknown.
7:46 p.m. The roommate they’re trying to evict takes the other residents’ possessions into her room – kind of a problem. When the takings came to include someone’s dog, police were summoned.