Arcata Police Log: Shirtless men with nothing better to do – as seen on TV!

• Monday, August 7 2:39 a.m. After being chased by some total stranger through the streets of Arcata, a man took refuge inside a downtown donut shop.

9:30 a.m. Unknown dumpers made a massive furniture delivery to L Street. Not any particular address, but the actual street. Dumpage included a trailer, mattress and furniture.

4:39 p.m. A woman reported being raped in Westwood Court on Aug. 4 by a man she had met two weeks earlier at a gathering. She was now six hours away, with her mother.

8:06 p.m. A man in an “STP” shirt stood in a 12th Street front yard, throwing apples and swearing. Johnny Applesleaze was arrested for making a disturbance.

11:02 p.m. Downstairs neighbors on J Street weren’t partying, or playing them devil musical instruments, or even arguing. No, they were just talking rather too loudly for the upstairs tenant’s taste.

• Tuesday, August 8 12:54 a.m. A Valley West motel that tries to maintain a semblance of standards found itself befestered by wheeled nuisances. These ranged from a bunch of folks and dogs clustered around a vehicle out back, plus a squad of bicycle-borne men without shirts riding around in the parking lot.

3:23 a.m. An unwell person said the TV was ordering him to commit suicide, rather than just making him want to, like it does for the rest of us.

10:26 a.m. A long-haired man in a black hoodie wandered the aisles of a Uniontown supermarket, causing disturbances and even dumping out a bag of “weed” on the counters. He was warned away.

11:32 a.m. A man made his stand outside a Valley West mini-mart, gesturing and barking obscenities at the hourly wage earners within, who really hadn’t signed up for this sort of revilement.

11:37 a.m. A woman wandering a Samoa Boulevard parking lot seemed a little suspicious, probably because she was looking into cars that weren’t hers while pushing a baby stroller with no baby in it. But at least she wasn’t yelling.

2:41 p.m. Someone stole a credit card out of a J Street mailbox and went on a spending spree.

2:45 p.m. Someone stole a 12th Street resident’s new driver’s license out of her mailbox, but wasn’t entirely discourteous – they did leave the envelope.

3:09 p.m. Heated arguments raged inside a residential vehicle in the 14th St. cul-de-sac. It had been tagged as abandoned, but the snarly occupants solved/not solved that problem by ripping down the orange sticker. Anyway, it’s been two weeks and a nearby traveler-riddled business has had enough.

5:49 p.m. Someone ran up behind a girl who was walking down Stromberg Avenue from the grocery store with a bag of food, and tried to grab it away from her. The grocery grabber then chased the girl to her home.

5:50 p.m. After rifling through a wallet of unknown origin, three men on Samoa Boulevard threw the gutted husk out into the street.

• Wednesday, August 9 12:23 a.m. Some yellingtons outside an H Street apartment complex didn’t take a woman’s polite request that they quieten down very kindly at all. In fact, they met this plea with more yelling and even profane names.

2:33 a.m. Yelling.

3:01 a.m. A woman received a text from a female friend stating that her boyfriend had her “pinned in a corner.” Unconventional, and yet it worked – the text resulted in a domestic violence arrest.

6:41 a.m. A man in a cowboy hat snoozed at an Alliance Road bus stop, and was cited.

10:53 a.m. Drunken yelling.

11:19 a.m. Smoking, drinking and yelling.

1 p.m. He-she yelling.

2:33 p.m. Yelling.

3:16 p.m. Kayakers paddled the not-so-challenging waters of Klopp Lake.

4:20 p.m. Screaming.

8:23 p.m. Screaming.

8:55 p.m. Screaming at they who prepare our burritos, and that shall not stand. Arrested.

• Thursday, August 10 5:40 a.m. A skinny dude in unfortunate plaid shorts stood in the back doorway  of an I Street Mexican bagelry, staring drunkenly at employees. He was arrested.

8:01 a.m. The day’s yelling got underway at Samoa Boulevard and H Street.

10:52 a.m. “I’m sorry I hurt her,” lamented the man calling from the Valley West motel as a woman sobbed in the background. Any further action isn’t documented.

12:05 p.m. Two marauding dogs got into an 11th Street chicken coop and tore apart seven chickens. The chickens’ owner left notes for the dogs’ owner at their house, but there was no response, much less any assumption of responsibility.

1:38 p.m. A man went into the men’s section of a groovy Alliance Road shop, so far so good. But then he removed his trousers, swapped them out for a fresh set off the rack and sauntered out of the store with a woman.

4:02 p.m. Dogshit-based threats may rank among the most unfounded of oaths and curses, and yet these were voiced – of course at ear-shattering volume levels – on Olympia Street. Even though the dogs’ owner picked up the wastes from a neighbor’s yard, he whose lawn had been shat upon pledged to fire BBs at the poopity pooches next time they do that.

5:17 p.m. Samoa Boulevard provided the sidewalk coliseum for a shirtless gladiator to do battle with his nemesis. Someone was arrested.

6:50 p.m. A man who’d set up a gray tent near the steep trail that leads from Alliance Road to the high school enjoyed an invigorating bout of evening yelling.


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