• Friday, November 6 4:45 a.m. A man was reported pulling a loudspeaker on Valley West Boulevard, which never sleeps – and this is a typical reason why.
5:17 a.m. An ideal time for an invigorating Eye Street lawn scream.
7:32 a.m. Two liquid breakfasters got their morning guzzle on at the transit center, where particularly peculiar people congregate.
11:20 a.m. A man strolled into a Valley West mini-mart, scooped up some of the high-salt, high-fat, high-sugar food-like substances and then reversed course out the door, neglecting the whole “paying-for-it” part. He was described as wearing a red hat and red sleeping bag, and toting a large speaker.
4:01 p.m. A bearded man threw a can at passing car on G Street.
• Saturday, November 7 1:34 a.m. A woman arrived home at her Foster Avenue apartment to find the front door unlocked. While she was out, her friend had gotten a Facetime call from her iPad, which was in the apartment. Against the advice of APD, she declined a police security check, but asked that the dispatcher remain on the line while she went through the place. She didn’t find anyone inside or anything out of place.
8:34 a.m. A man helped himself to free donuts and coffee at a Valley West supermarket.
10:29 a.m. A dreadlocked woman briefly argued with the staff of an I Street store, even extending her personal boycott to the rest of the populace by blocking customers from going in.
12:13 p.m. A big black-and-white dog and his li’l brown wingman pooch-pal roved Forest Avenue, loose and uncatchable.
12:54 p.m. After a dog passed away during surgery, its owner went to the veterinary office and threatened the staff.
1:24 p.m. Since someone had likely self medicated, their carelessly tossed syringe was sort of accurately placed in a “tenant and patient” parking spot on Ninth Street.
8:16 p.m. A restroom for residents of a Valley West mobile home park, located near the campsite-infested Mad River, became an insta-shooting gallery for dope fiends. A resident said three were inside drugging the night away at the moment, two of them having arrived on bicycles.
8:20 p.m. One of the attendees at the toilet soiree was so swept away with exuberance, or something, that he took to arguing with himself and punching the walls. He was moved along.
• Sunday, November 8 1:54 a.m. A man reported that as he slept, a so-called friend crept into his H Street apartment and stole his Glock .36 handgun from his living room.
10:04 a.m. A Valley Wester reported a man outside his home stabbing his motorcycle tires with a knife and threatening to cut off the owner’s hands.
3:28 p.m. New depths of barbarity were displayed at the Portland Loo of Shock and Awe, where someone went to use it and found a guy inside doing his business with the door standing open.
4:46 p.m. Someone left a bike in the back of a pickup truck in Valley West and – get this – expected it to be there when they returned.
• Monday, November 9 1:35 p.m. A drone flying over the Marsh was piloted by the city, being used for purposes of environmental good, not evil.
3:02 p.m. Area professionals weren’t enamored of the guy living on the western frontier of Eighth Street in his Prius. No longer a zero emission vehicle, the EV had a wee-wee problem, with the resident emptying his urine jugs out on the sidewalk upon which they must tread.
5:09 p.m. A mountain lion paid a visit to the Marsh, just to see how the lowlanders live.
7:41 p.m. A man drank hand sanitizer and locked his caregiver out of his apartment.
• Tuesday, November 10 8:26 a.m. Who thinks it’s OK to open all the doors to your car and blast the neighborhood with music on a Tuesday morning? That would be the lady on Heather Lane.
9:24 a.m. When someone’s bicycle was stolen outside a G Street credit union, the victim did the only logical thing: go in the lobby and start an argument.
10:44 a.m. A grandmother reported to Eureka Police that her 2-year-old grandson was having a tantrum at Ninth and H streets in Arcata, and might hurt himself on the concrete. The call was transferred by EPD to APD, who heard a child screaming in the background.
10:58 a.m. A goateed man in alternative businesswear – sweatpants and a hoodie – went into an H Street shop and asked to borrow money and use the phone. Rather than do that, the business called police asking that they tell the guy they never wanted to see him again.
11:12 a.m. A 30-something beardo keeps stealing potted plants off a G Street porch.
1:59 p.m. Still another sweet bicycle – a racing model, for which the owner paid $900 – disappeared, this time from the parking lot at Eighth and F streets, its owner having relied on the wholly illusory security of a bike lock.
2:53 p.m. Some guy came to the door of a Center Avenue home and asked the resident for money. He was given $40.
5:33 p.m. Uniontown supermarket shoppers picking up dinner items had to navigate their carts around a long-haired man tripping the light spasmodic in front of the egg selection. There, he babbled nonsensically, harassed shoppers and plopped down on the floor.
• Wednesday, November 11 7:29 a.m. Another anti-masker made a scene at an I Street store, arguing with staff and refusing to leave until everyone involved was well-immersed in his dubious droplets.