• Tuesday, February 3 9 a.m. A Percheron Lane houseguest went nutso, screaming and throwing things about. Police were summoned to extract her. 

9:17 a.m. A quartet of sitabouts in a Valley West shopping center sat amid a swirling vortex of personal possessions, throwing things at each other and screaming.

10:16 a.m. Yelling and aggression again flared on Percheron Lane.

11:28 a.m. A baldfaced mask refusenik visited entirely unnecessary strife on a G Street laundromat, stressing the staff and fleeing, trailing a miasma of statistically concerning infectious germs.

2:30 p.m. A camper van on Q Street brought excitement to the ’hood as two dogs romped around while a nude woman was visible in the vehicle’s door and windows.

7:50 p.m. Two totally tubular bongs were taken from an H Street store by a man and woman. 

• Thursday, February 4 1:40 p.m. A Bayside Roader complained that someone else’s bird house had been taken down.

3:55 p.m. A male-type stole disc golf discs from a G Street store, then ran flapfully away in flip-flops.

4:08 p.m. Passed out in the gutter at Samoa Boulevard and H Street. This enviable state of repose and its sodden reveries were interrupted by police and their pesky public drunkenness charges.

7:50 p.m. The screaming and throwing fad reached 13th Street, where a guy who’d been asked to leave a store flung merchandise around, busting things up.

• Friday, February 5 3:27 p.m. A mother of an infant was seen smoking something off of aluminum foil at a Valley West motel.

8:54 p.m. A welfare check was requested for a woman at a Valley West motel who was described as “manic,” and who had rented a room for people she didn’t know.

11:05 p.m. The vivid social life of RV occupants parked on J Street for the past week involved four to five loudies shouting at each other inside its cramped confines, plus sounds of a dog in distress.

• Saturday, February 6 3:59 a.m. College-age women were seen at 14th and A streets running and screaming as a menacing man-like creature followed them, yelling obscenely.

1:58 p.m. A bar window was smashed at a veterans memorial building on 14th Street.

2:58 p.m. After bellowing, bleating and bringing a disturbance to a Uniontown supermarket, a black-hatted brute stormed out in a huff... only to have to come crawling back in to collect the possessions he’d left inside during his huffy-puffy, dopey-dorky, dingbat-dramatic exit.

• Sunday, February 7 2:18 p.m. A dispute over food delivery at a J Street restaurant somehow escalated to the point where a man reportedly punched a woman’s child, then left in an old Saturn.

11:13 p.m. A trio of drunks burst into song at 17th and G streets, their halitosis-infused harmonies halted when a police person redirected the choir elsewhere.

• Monday, February 8 12:56 p.m. The remnants of a mass postal plundering appeared on Wisteria Way, where all manner of violated mail lie scattered about, including one big package.

1:22 p.m. A particular vehicle – actually, its expediency-oriented driver – has repeatedly disgorged trash into an F Street apartment building’s bin, this time causing it to overflow.

2:38 p.m. A drunken man lay covered in garbage next to a garbage can at a Valley West shopping center, a despairing situation from which he refused to get up from. So, off to the drunk tank.

3:29 p.m. A battered patient at the ER said he’d been attacked by three men wielding pieces of wood on the Mad River bar north of Carlson Park.

3:34 p.m. In a groundbreaking twist, a man wearing a backwards baseball cap behaved in less-than-gentlemanly fashion behind an F Street pet shop. Yelling, yelling and more yelling.

5:14 p.m. The rambunctious contents of an old green Ford careened around Samoa Boulevard and V Street, weaving in and out of the lane as they threw trash and flipped off drivers-by.

5:25 p.m. A tall, bearded man in blue jeans wandered the halls of a Plaza hotel, listening to guests doors and talking to his hand.

7:09 p.m. More men in blue jeans turned up at a 15th Street woman’s home, asking for the second time this day if they could please dig in her backyard.

• Tuesday, February 9 12:11 a.m. A man at the hospital had been struck with an axe on his left forearm out at the Mad River bar 20 minutes earlier.

7:10 a.m. A man on South G Street saw someone inside his unlocked car, and when the intruder left, so did a trophy that had been sitting on the passenger seat.

11:44 a.m. A man called to report that someone was trying to arrest him for not wearing a face mask in a 13th Street store.

1 p.m. A man sat in the curb at the Community Center playground, injecting something insalubrious  into his arm.

1:10 p.m. A mysterious vehicle trailer with a silver Honda on it was deposited at a school bus garage on Boyd Road, perfectly positioned to block a driveway and bus access.

5:17 p.m. A slender man in baggy jeans and a hard hat amused himself by throwing knives at a Valley West Boulevard tree. It was a bit concerning, since any misguided dagger would fly blade-first into the street.

10:49 p.m. A man at 10th and G streets complained of another man following him, carrying a taser and wanting to fight, which he didn’t.

• Wednesday, February 10 8:19 a.m. A Valley West apartment complex was described as a festering cauldron of disregard for parking regs, with cars sprawled across fire lanes and handicapped spots. Parking enforcement descended on the anarchist hotbed, dispensing at least one citation.

11:36 a.m. A blue-panted man at the Marsh was described as shooting up and acting erratic, two behaviors not uncommon to each other. 

5:56 p.m. A man in Redwood Park was seen lighting a jacket on fire and putting sticks inside the flaming garment. He was deemed drunk and arrested.