Arcata Police Log: Dropped-off boxed cock busts out for slough doodle-doings

• Friday, January 31  4:35 p.m. A woman’s wallet was lifted from her purse on the Plaza, and with it went her driver’s license, checkbook, cash, credit cards, debit card and Social Security card. 

• Saturday, February 1 12:48 p.m. An FBI agent called from Virginia to relate a report from an Ocean Drive resident. The McKinleyviller had dialed federal investigators on becoming “stuck” behind his refrigerator while hiding from drug dealers he said were coming after him.

• Monday, February 3 3:56 a.m. It’s definitely a new trend – showing up at businesses and claiming to be a patron/client/guest, then demanding services in huffy-hortatory harangues and probably getting them from time to time. A man whose superpowers were aptly symbolized by the damp lightning bolt on his red hat claimed to have a room, didn’t, and when confronted by staff, stalked off with his bags toward the rooms and into thin air.

1:16 p.m. A man more or less moved in to the bathroom of a Valley West pizzeria, refusing entreaties to emerge for over an hour. But handcuffs ended the standoff.

3:04 p.m. On sighting unattended items on a Northtown porch, a versatile opportunivore turned porch pirate, swooped down and snatched up the whatever-it-wases. But – oops! – someone from inside the building confronted the stealer, who released his grip on the ill-gotten things and scampered, possibly still with the place’s mail in his pocket. So be on the lookout for a man in jeans, a hoodie and baseball cap with a backpack.

5:46 p.m. An older gent in a plaid blue shirt walked in and out of traffic on Valley West Boulevard, then symbolically confirmed his suicidal tendencies by walking up to a shop window and shooting himself in the head with an imaginary gun.

• Tuesday, February 4 8:10 a.m. A Plaza slumpabout in ever-classy camo and prestigious pajama pants has decided one business’s entrance is a toilet, and has been making defecatory deposits on a continuing basis.

11:31 a.m. “Don’t kill me” was the overheard request of a woman in a Valley West motel room, from which banging sounds also emanated.

3:50 p.m. Leaving an iPad, hard drive and notebook computer in a messenger bag in a car with a rolled-down window in Redwood Park proved counterproductive to continued ownership.

• Wednesday, February 5 7:56 a.m. Given Arcata’s prevailing unmade-bed fashion standard, it was hard for a passerby to tell if a clump of clothing on Union Street clothing was a free pile with boots sticking out or a personoid lying there.

2:22 p.m. For whatever reason, a Valley West business didn’t want a man in a camo jacket and blue sweatpants frosted in feces to return to their shop.

3:06 p.m. Two grown-ass men (biologically, anyway) lurked in a Community Park lot, wearing a hockey mask and frightening children who were participating in a school program.

• Thursday, February 6 11:28 a.m. A disorganized burglar broke into a Ninth Street office, leaving behind a knife and a shoe.

3:53 p.m. A G Street resident didn’t see her do it, but just knew that it was a neighbor who cut her cable TV wire and poisoned her yard.

• Friday, February 7 8:17 p.m. A person who first gained interest by stabbing a car tire on 10th Street then went down to Tavern Alley to walk in circles and scream, and become very arrested.

• Saturday, February 8 10:32 a.m. A tan-and-white pit bull mix learned the joys of cornering several people at a Union Street apartment complex, and merrily eluded its owner who had given chase.

10:42 a.m. A roving freakshow in requisite beard and hoodie lingered near the entrance to the Arcata Ridge Trail, following and creeping out female hikers. 

7:23 p.m. An Antoine Avenue resident took a call from a scammer with a brutal new pitch: transfer money to us or we’ll kill your daughter. The matter was reported to the Del Norte County Sheriff’s Office, which relayed the info to APD.

• Sunday, February 9 12:20 a.m. A woman drove a silver Ford SUV in erratic fashion in a Valley West parking lot, screaming, flipping off her boyfriend and trying to run him over.

12:44 p.m. Someone dropped off a container with a rooster inside near Butcher’s Slough, but the cock-in-a-box got loose and was freely doodle-doing around the slough.

3:31 p.m. A long-haired man in a baggy pink shirt and beanie piloted a golf cart down a Community Forest trail, headed toward the Diamond Drive entrance with a load of logs.

4:28 p.m. A man in a plaid jacket and pants with a “possible beard” toiled on a Janes Road school’s playground, not taking kindly to mere children attempting to use the playset on which he was laboring. After threatening to eject the kids and grabbing one by the arm, the Skeezy McGeezer said he was “fixing” the playground equipment.

7:01 p.m. A woman found a lost chicken at the marsh and brought it back to her dorm room, but couldn’t keep it overnight.

11:44 p.m. A man at a Valley West motel had locked himself out of his motel room, then did so again and took to dancing naked outside the room. A witness believed that he was locking himself out on purpose.

• Monday, February 10 2:35 p.m. Someone walking in the forest east of a local state university campus heard a group of people say, “I’m going to take a picture of me burning her.” 

2:49 p.m. A woman reported that someone put “gas” on her clothes at a laundromat, but she didn’t seem to know which ’mat she was at. First she said it was one in Westwood Center, then one on G Street. From there her statements descended into utter nonsensicality.

• Wednesday, February 12 4:57 p.m. Cannabis fumes engulfed the semi-permanent homeless encampment on the Community Center’s west side and adjacent areas, including where children from an afterschool program were located.

• Thursday, February 13 8:28 a.m. A shoeless woman in a red hoodie who was pulling a flowery suitcase was asked to leave the transit center, and retaliated by throwing a white substance everyone really hoped was milk on the front door.

8:31 p.m. An Ariel Way Airbnb proprietor came home to find a male guest behaving erratically, speaking nonsensically – in sum, going full-on loontown inside her house – and leading her to seek safety at a neighbor’s residence. From there she called police asking that the lodger be dislodged.

Ψ Valentine’s Day 9:06 a.m. What a day to send threatening text messages to a Fifth Street woman, whose roommate noticed them. Fortunately, the recipient of the scary valentexts was out of the country.

10:26 a.m. A man was reported selling fake gold in a respectable downtown parking lot, not some shady back alloy.

• Saturday, February 15 4:11 p.m. Five to six doke smoping travelers loitered near their Community Center encampment, their emissions enveloping a youth basketball tournament. Asked to leave, they refused.

• Sunday, February 16 8:47 p.m. A man left four pounds of what he described as “medical marijuana” in a Valley West motel room. When he realized his error, the staff told him they’d already turned the poundage over to police, so now he wanted to know how to claim it.

12:10 p.m. A she-thief slithered into a G Street restaurant’s break room, stealing both an employee’s wallet and what the hell why not, a slice o’ pizza.

3:27 p.m. A bloke strolling along Sixth Street pulled a handy metal bar out of his pants, smashed a car window and kept walking. 

5:51 p.m. A blue-haired woman and her red-haired, neck-tattooed swain prepared to set up camp for the night along M Street, but first, some last-minute snooping in car windows for possible provisions.

• Monday, February 17 12:44 p.m. Subtlety, a sob story or even some sort of musical performance wasn’t part of a G Street barbarian’s panhandling pitch. No, the inartful beggar simply approached a car, pointed at the driver and said, “Give me your money.” On being declined, he started yelling because that totally helps.

12:57 p.m. More yelling therapy irradiated a man who was drugged out and horizontal in a parking lot across the street. As he lie there incazapitated, some bozo (possibly last item-guy) stood over him shrieking, to uncertain benefit.

• Tuesday, February 18 9:37 a.m. A man wrapped in a blanket on a J Street loading dock ought to have prioritized clothing acquisition, but he announced other pressing priorities. Those being killing everyone and then resurrecting the children... then maybe getting some, oh I don’t know, pants?

• Wednesday, February 19 4:39 p.m. A man who trends toward drinking and suicidal thoughts once again lifted glass to mouth, and shortly thereafter texted a photo of a rope to his ex-girlfriend. He was arrested for public drunkenness.

5:06 p.m. A half-dozen trash tossers frolicked and gamboled in the dumpsters behind the transit center, spraying refuse all about. When asked to stop, the burly bin boyos tended to go on the attack, so police were asked to move ’em along.

5:35 p.m. Another grouchy gleaner refused entreaties to stop mining someone’s garbage on Spear Avenue.

6:39 p.m. A simple request for ID at a Valley West gas station brought a volley of threats from a surly shopper.

• Thursday, February 20 6:49 a.m. A Northtown business’s front door was damaged when someone hurled a potted plant at it.

2:36 p.m. A guitar was stolen from a C Street home last July, then purchased from a Eureka pawn shop on Jan. 7. The shop wouldn’t tell the victim who had brought it in.

• Friday, February 21 5:35 a.m. A man drove around Stewart Avenue barking like a dog and seeming to want to wake up the neighborhood. Arf, he said.

Saturday, February 22 12:12 a.m. An Alliance Road houseguest became somewhat disenchanted with his hosts, who had threatened to break his electronic toys and kidnap someone’s child.

2:13 a.m. A dog on Quarter Way seemed to be in distress, and possibly trying to get help for its owner in a classic “Lassie’s trying to tell us something!” moment. Arf, she said.

9:08 a.m. Set your wallet on the counter while you’re checking out groceries any more and poof!

11:55 a.m. Delirious rando or metaphor for the current state of humanity? A woman walked in circles spouting profanities between a Valley West gas station and car wash.

1:33 p.m. Screams of a woman pleading “Get away from me!” on the wooded banks of the Mad River could be heard as far as a Giuntoli Lane store as smoke rose from the area.

Sunday, February 23 8:27 a.m. He, clad in green sweatshirt and khaki pants and she, resplendent in classic black hoodie and jeans, danced in and out of traffic in front of a Janes Road motel. The wayward waltzers appeared to be under the influence of something or other.

Monday, February 24 11:43 a.m. A bag of earrings went missing from a Valley West motel.

4:03 p.m. Someone from Hartford, Colo. mailed APD a USB drive embedded in a business card. The card bore a sticker depicting a clock and the words, “PLAY ME NOW.”

8:53 p.m. A woman wearing a giant backpack on the Plaza said she wanted to murder someone from Pennsylvania, and that she felt unsupported.

 

 

 







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