Arcata adds new fee-based services, sells naming rights

Smith & Wesson will generously provide new signage at the renamed Marsh. TT | Union

Smith & Wesson will generously provide new signage at the renamed Marsh. TT | Union

Zapf Dingbat
Mad River Union

ARCATA, APRIL 1 – New ideas and fee-based programs are flying fast at Arcata City Hall, as civic officials scramble to close the budget gap.

Sensible Smoking

The retro-style illustration for Parks & Rec’s new “Sensible Smoking” class for tots. The efforts complement teen and adult programs aimed at establishing various forms of substance dependency involving locally sourced natural and organic products. TT| Union

The Recreation Dept. is offering a new “Sensible Smoking” afternoon activity designed for children ages 3 to 9, to be held at the Redwood Lounge. The class will introduce children to candy cigarettes, then genuine tobacco products sourced from local organic farmers. Kids will watch vintage TV commercials for cigarettes and sing classic jingles, dressing up as characters such as the Marlboro Man. At the end of the class, each child will receive a “Mini-Puffer” medal of valor.

For ages 10 to 18, a new Class in Cool will help teens attain and maintain a desirable self-image and project it with confidence. Building on the Sensible Smoking training, pre-adolescents and teens will learn how to swear, spit, glower, wear the same pants for weeks at a time, throw shoes over power lines and stay out at all hours without notifying parents of their plans.

Karen with sign

City Manager Karen Diemer spends her lunch hours across from City Hall, importuning Uniontown Shopping Center customers for spare change to boost the General Fund and balance the city budget. KLH | Union

A special extra-credit class will educate youth about the leadership role of celebrities in our culture, the importance of their views on politics and public health issues and how to select the right superstar to closely emulate.

The Rec Division youth activities are designed to work with the City Council’s new SmokeFit™ and DrinkSmart™ programs for adults. “Now there’s something for everyone,” said Director Steven Heatherton.

Under another new program recommended by the Budget Task Force, city features may be “branded” by corporate sponsors with the means to pay a $70 fee.

Early bids were received for some of Arcata’s most prominent points of interest, which have now been renamed. Among these are the Smith & Wesson Marsh & Wildlife Sanctuary, SuddenLink Plaza, Monsanto Bayside Park Farm, Frito-Lay Foodworks and the Koch Industries Community Forest.

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