• Monday, April 4 2:53 p.m. Another car vs. building crash, this one on West End Road.
3:04 p.m. Two pit bulls frolicking in the children’s playground at the Community Park were rounded up and taken to the shelter.
3:41 p.m. Two dogs – a shepherd and a mastiff – off-leash in Redwood Park attacked and bit a leashed dog. The two women with the dogs got in a car and left.
• Tuesday, April 5 1:15 a.m. A low-budget Valley West motel registered two guests, but some seven sketchy lodgers came to inhabit Room 229. Police cleared them out, warned of trespass and arrested at least one.
9:03 a.m. After what she did to his TV antenna this morning, it’s fair to say that they aren’t in love any more.
2:11 p.m. A travelerish-looking man on Samoa Boulevard looked, from a distance, drunk to the brink of collapse. But emergency personnel found the poor fellow suffering from severe bronchitis and barely able to breathe. He was hospitalized.
2:58 p.m. Yak Man, who has befriended Goat Boy in what seems like a propitious symbiosis, was considered in violation of an ill-defined Arcata Municipal Code section (5317) on K Street. But he wouldn’t sign the citation, vociferously disputed it and went back inside his protest sign-festooned house.
9:12 p.m. A man called 911 to complain about an interruption in his telephone service. Asked for his name, he said “My name is Fuck You,” and hung up. Police checked in with him and found no emergency, then advised Mr. You against abusing 911.
10:03 p.m. A sidewalk-wallowing man with his pants down on Valley East Boulevard was indecently exposing himself, but it was just that the pants were so damn complicated to operate. But at some point he managed to stand, pull his pants up and walk away.
• Wednesday, April 6 8:50 a.m. A man seen wandering in and out of traffic on D Street told police he was just enjoying the weather.
9:41 a.m. Brent has been augmenting his cardboard sign protests with loud verbal exhortations of late, and since both are more or less a word salad heavy on the conspiracy dressing, little was lost in translation. After yelling at people in the parking lot of the Marsh Interpretive Center and having at least one yell back, he trudged off on South G Street.
10:03 a.m. A small dog described as multicolored scampered around in Irene Street, where it was said to have chased and nipped at kids.
5:46 p.m. A man in a green robe with an IV still in his arm fled the hospital, his girlfriend piloting the getaway car.
9:32 p.m. In retaliation for his girlfriend stealing his iPod, a boyfriend climbed in through her bedroom window and stole her X-Box. He admitted to the theft, and also said that he hadn’t actually seen the girl steal the iPod, but had been told that by several other people. He agreed to return the game console and was counseled on how to better handle disputes.
• Thursday, April 7 8:58 a.m. After the way he behaved at the bank the day before, a man was told that his account would be closed and he’d be sent a check for the balance once all the debt had cleared.
A Ninth and H drummer alone
Led someone in earshot to moan
And then to complain
Of drums on the brain
But bongoman soon fled the zone
3:01 p.m. A man found collapsed in the stairwell of an historic Plaza storehouse turned out to be napping.
• Friday, April 8 12:11 p.m. A man was seen walking with a “bison” – previously described as a buffalo, but actually a yak – at 11th and L streets. When a friendly passerby asked if he could take a picture, Yak Man faulted him for not saying “hi” first.
A four-drummer, bongo-based gaggle
Left downtowners’ eardrums bedraggled
Cops found the sound source
And were cordial of course
In deploying a firm finger-waggle
• Saturday, April 9 12:23 a.m. L.K. Wood Boulevard residents preparing for a party did some preliminary yelling and pounding just for warm-ups, instilling concern in a neighbor that worse was to come. An officer heard music emanating from an apartment, but wasn’t able to make contact.
12:35 a.m. The screaming and yelling involved with a drinking game on Lewis Avenue attracted police, who advised the noisemakers about the City party ordinance.
11:04 a.m. A K Street resident complained about the numerous goats and yak who live at a house there.
12:54 p.m. If a sketchy report is to be believed, someone may have smoked marijuana in Valley West.
8:54 p.m. Youths playing laser tag somehow pursued the coherent light-beam action up the wall and onto the roof of an Old Arcata Road school.
8:54 p.m. A hoodied man made it out to the sidewalk with two 12-packs at a Uniontown store, but was there intercepted, so he surrendered the loot and boogied with considerable dispatch. He left behind a duffel bag with an Epson projection device in it.
9:56 p.m. When a driver stopped her car at the stop sign at 14th Street and L.K. Wood Boulevard, two men in short-sleeved shirts came up to the car and pulled on the door handles. They didn’t get in.
10:42 p.m. After-hours commercial cleaners used a loud generator to power their mighty cleansing apparatus, much to the displeasure of a neighbor who was holding a party. At one point the hostess in her backyard and a cleaner-man on the roof became embroiled in an absurd shouting match. Police arrived and got her to promise to ignore the man.
11:31 p.m. The truce didn’t hold, and within minutes rooftop-ground hostilities had resumed. Police restored civility, and got the cleaners to turn off the generator at the core of the dispute.
• Sunday, April 10 1:16 a.m. A man in a black sweatshirt with black cuffs walked into a Uniontown supermarket and asked where the “Rockstar” drinks were. Employees then lost sight of him, reacquiring him and the big bulge in his sweatshirt as he made a quick exit out the front door.
6:45 a.m. A Union Street apartment dweller put up with all kinds of furtive foot traffic, knocking on doors and people coming and going all night at an adjacent residence. When he looked out the window, he saw a nervous-looking man. Then the neighbor knocked on his door, but returned to her apartment sounding “worried.” The activity seemed to be centered around a car with a sticker on the back that said, “Co-exist.”
11:12 a.m. A neighbor didn’t think a small black rabbit hopping around on Fifth Street was long for this world, what with all the dogs and cars.
10:31 a.m. Multiple illegal campsites were discovered, and their residents cited, on the south ridge of Trail 9 between Trails 8 and 4.
8:43 p.m. After dancing unrulily – hitting and shoving people on the Community Center dance floor - a man was ejected from the event, but attempted to force his way back in. He and another drunken boor were arrested.
• Monday, April 11 1:36 p.m.
A duo of drummers, at first
Grew to three as the thunder got worse
The Plaza was thumping
Cops found them there clumping
And bongo-boys’ bubble soon burst
5:51 p.m. After a 12th Street residence was entered and property taken, the main suspect was the victim’s son.
• Tuesday, April 12 11:14 p.m. A man was driving under the Arlington Overhead when a heavy object which either fell or was thrown struck his car and broke the windshield.
11:40 p.m. A prank caller set off a full-tilt public safety response for naught. The female caller said her husband had threatened her with a gun, and that she was hiding under a car in the garage of their Buttermilk Lane home. Arcata and Humboldt State officers converged on the address, but found no car in the garage. A woman there told officers there was no problem.
• Wednesday, April 13 12:30 a.m. A doll on fire and tied to a fence at Sunset Avenue and G Street turned out to be a flaming pile of marijuana.
1:18 a.m. Trash cans at the Skate Park were burned up.
The donutsphere’s dank alleyway
Again brought a saxman to play
The sultry-sad horn
Droned on through the morn
Till 3, when he put it away
8:54 a.m. A truck was reported stolen overnight from Hallen Drive.
9:12 a.m. A bike was reported stolen overnight from Eighth Street.
1:32 p.m. A woman reported that a relative broke into her house through a window and stole three rings and DVDs. The items were pawned in Eureka, and she wanted them back.
5:43 p.m. Young hooligans were reported roving up California Avenue, setting mailboxes on fire.
7:40 p.m. A woman was reported passed out on the front lawn of a Crescent Way home, with a dog “guarding” her. When an officer arrived, she got up and went inside.
10:48 p.m. A woman was heard screaming “Let me go!” on Beverly Drive. Police found a male and female arguing. She was extremely intoxicated, and a friend was to care for her.
11 p.m. A Davis Way argument of comparable magnitude ended with her going to a motel for the night.
• Thursday, April 14 12:51 a.m. A woman reported a man following her at a Valley West gas station and asking her to “do a favor for him.” He said he didn’t want money. Police found him and his big bag looking for a ride out of the area.
1:46 a.m. A man at the same gas station was reported scaring people and telling them to run away. He was deemed drunk, and arrested.
3:19 a.m. A big truck broke down in the middle of Fickle Hill Road. Traffic control was required while the truck was towed.
8:19 a.m. A woman reported a man stalking her online, sending her messages about “wanting” her plus pictures of his reproductive machinery.
11:04 a.m. A citizen reported a neighborhood house where the lights come on at the same time every night. No one lives there and there is never any garbage out on garbage day, nor does frost ever form on the rooftop. Two men in a truck with dogs do visit periodically, and they stay all day.
12:14 p.m. An argument at an Alliance Road apartment complex had to do with smoking in a vehicle with children inside. When an officer arrived, the two were accusing each other of making threats to “kick the other’s ass, bash their head in and kick out their teeth.” They were advised that rather than dismantle each other, to go inside and keep their distance.
12:31 p.m. A man sold a mini-bike online and was sent a check for $2,550. After he deposited it and spent some of the balance, the bank told him he was overdrawn. The purchaser then sent him another check, which he didn’t cash.
12:39 p.m. A mountain bike disappeared out of an 18th Street backyard.
7:44 p.m. A 13th Street resident with a “crazy” neighbor reported him having built a fence on the reporting party’s property. The resident showed an officer where boards had been nailed to his house, preventing him from using his own property.