The City of Arcata and National Weather Service have collaborated to develop a “Lunatic Weather Map” which attempts to forecast the ebb and flow of high-maintenance crazy persons in and around Arcata.
I recently heard that we are having a problem with adolescent heroin use in Arcata. I was shocked and saddened by this news. I know some experimentation is normal, but heroin is a hard core drug and leads to significant dependency and addiction issues. Around the same time, a family brought their 14 year old daughter…
• Friday, February 19 5:18 a.m. An unknown man made a dramatic entrée onto the porch of a Trojan Street mobile home, waving around a two-and-a-half foot pipe with a metal ball on the end. Having wielded the worrisome man o’ war to his satisfaction, the trailer terrorizer scrambled into a ’90s vintage Dodge mommy-van not exactly befitting the image of a cudgel-swinging swashsbuckler, and roared off toward the freeway.
If you suspect your child may be experiencing abuse, then make sure you are providing a safe place for your child to talk about what they are thinking and experiencing, and make sure your child knows that you will provide a reasonable and rational response to whatever they tell you (children know this through experience, so make sure to set the precedent early).
5:30 p.m. A man in a green jacket was reported “thrusting his hips” in the 1000 block of J Street.
6:22 p.m. A car was reported doing 80 mph in the U.S. Highway 101 Safety Corridor, on an urgent mission that ended at a downtown brewery. An APD officer went inside and admonished the driver.
12:17 a.m. A woman reported that she couldn’t get the handcuffs off of her boyfriend because the key broke.
10:44 a.m. A 14-year-old skated on the Plaza, where his wallet fell out of his pantaloons. Three travelers – two women and a man – set upon the plopped pocketbook and immediately gutted it of any value. A gift card with $25 in remaining value was redeemed for unknown items – probably cheap crap – at a Uniontown variety store. The male of the crew flipped the emptied wallet back at the boy as his tawdry entourage exited the emporium. The lad went inside to investigate, and an employee told him that “three homeless people” had used the card.
• Tuesday, January 5 7:37 a.m. An emotional man wept in the City Hall parking lot, complaining that he couldn’t remember the last time he slept. It seems that his girlfriend “did something” to him while he was sleeping in Crescent City, and he hasn’t been able to sleep normally or pee painlessly ever since.
12:05 p.m. A Beverly Drive resident complained that his neighbor was throwing cat shit at his truck and also somewhat more daintily placing said feces on the hood. The neighbor is reportedly upset that the cat poops in his yard. A surveillance system is being installed to capture the potentially petulant poopscapades.